My six weeks as news editor and production manager of The Ryersonian finished Wednesday. We went out to the pub as a group after deadline on Tuesday night and our professor paid for the food and drinks.

It’s incredible what you don’t know about people, especially authority figures, until you share a pitcher of beer with them.

And after we delivered the last newspapers around campus on Wednesday morning as a group, the five of us went for breakfast at a greasy spoon nearby.

I’ve hated working in groups my entire academic career. At least one person (usually me) is taken advantage of and gets stuck with most, if not all, of the work once the others realize he or she will work hard enough to get a good mark whether they help or not. I’ve had dozens of terrible group experiences.

But this group was incredible and we knew it would be before we even started working together.

Sure, it was stressful sometimes and we were short with each other once in a while as the 5 p.m. deadline crept up every Tuesday, but we tried not to take ourselves too seriously while at the same time giving one another the mutual respect we all deserved.

After spending at least five or six days a week with these people, I now feel naked without them. Three of the others are staying in Toronto for their internships, like me, but my closest friend left for Vancouver on Saturday morning.

We became even closer while on the masthead and it feels strange that I can’t call her up right now to chat about something, or nothing. We lived a few blocks away from each other and we saw or spoke to each other almost every day.

I did her highlights in the bathroom of her boyfriend’s apartment (she moved out of hers during Reading Week) and we tried to chat like normal. We acted like it wasn’t a big deal that we wouldn’t see each other for the next two months.

The goodbye was sad and I rushed it so I wouldn’t cry. I sent her a text message later to tell her how much I would miss her, but that I hoped she had a great experience. (How Gen Y am I?)

I’ve spent the days since then working on the new project I mentioned in my last post. We officially launched it today.

The TalentEgg Career Incubator is an online career magazine for Canadian post-secondary students and recent graduates, and an extension of the main TalentEgg.ca website. I’m the editor.

I’m still working on putting together a larger writing team (if anyone is interested in writing for us, please let me know) and it’s a bit of a work in progress, but we’re so excited about it and so looking forward to turning it into an invaluable resource for Canadian students and recent graduates, especially considering the current economic climate.

I’m having so much fun being part of the TalentEgg team again and working with the really bright, ambitious students and recent grads who have volunteered to contribute content. Lauren and I are also working on putting together some fun (but also purposeful) group activities for the team once it grows a bit.

And, of course, my personal life is extremely tumultuous at the moment as well. I won’t go into details, but my life will be probably changing a lot very soon. It’s sad, but it’s something which needs to be done if I’m going to start my life on the right foot.

I’m also starting my internship at the National Post tomorrow morning at 10 a.m. The editor I’m working with told me to show up with “ideas and enthusiasm,” and to be honest, I’m a little short on both at the moment. I’m so nervous and I’m still not sure if it was the right choice for me, but it’s too late to go back now. I just hope I can do an amazing job there and leave feeling good about my work.

I suppose I’m just a worry wart. I love change when it comes, but until it actually arrives and I’m certain about what’s happening, all I can do is worry, worry and worry some more.

But I’ve also come to appreciate the people in my life at various points in time who have given me the extra push I needed to get through a rough patch.

It’s taken me a while to recognize who they are and exactly what they’ve done for me, but now, when one of those people appears, I know instantly. Now, the experience is much more rewarding because I feel I can appreciate what they’re offering me.

My parents raised me to believe that a person’s success was determined by how self-sufficient they were.

This was probably because, at times, they weren’t very self-sufficient and they had to take jobs, borrow money and accept second-hand items (including cars) from well-off family just to get by. They worked hard and did their best, but it wasn’t until much later in their lives that they were able to achieve some measure of self-sufficiency.

But I’ve been accepting help from well-meaning friends, family members and strangers for almost five years now, since my mom died. Whether it was simply their company and inspirational words, or their expertise in a certain area, or even gifts or money.

It has been tough to realize people actually care about me enough to offer me these things without expecting anything in return, except my company and, for those who have contributed to my education, my continued hard work.

It’s also been difficult to realize I may actually be the type of person who deserves these tokens of appreciation and support. My drive, hard work and persistence has probably helped these people decide I deserve whatever they’re offering, but I’ve always been too modest to think or say that.

Recently I noticed that I’m now able to accept these things as they come. Instead of feeling guilty and holding myself back by being reluctant to accept them, or by not accepting them at all, I know I’ve proven my worth and the person really believes in me.

I survived the loss of my mom with the support of family and friends.

I stayed in the journalism program at Ryerson thanks to the faith my first-year reporting instructor had (and continues to have via email) in me.

I focused on school and extra-cirricular activites at a critical time in my career thanks to the financial and moral support of my dad.

I’m going to the National Post for my internship instead of a small community paper because my third-year copy editing instructor took the extra time to tell me she thinks I’m a strong enough journalist to pull it off — almost a year after I was last in her class.

And today my aunt took me shopping for some professional-looking clothing so I can feel confident and comfortable when I finally start my internship in March.

I didn’t ask for any of this, but I needed it and it’s truly helped me to become who I am and get where I am in my life.

I’m not a success yet, but I think I’ll get there one day if I accept help from enough kind-hearted individuals. I hope I can offer the same help to others along the way, but perhaps a person’s success is measured by how much they help others realize their dreams.